Here's a thing that happened to me when I was in my early 20s. First you have to know that I'm not athletic but my best friend is. He actually likes to climb up a mountain (well, a small one that's now called a hill because it's so old) turn around at the top and run, yes run, back down the trail. One lovely summer day we did climb King Mountain, as it's called. After a short break admiring the view my friend said "Let's run down." Uncharacteristically, I said "Ok" ...and we ran. Partway down a big tree trunk (that I'd climbed over and promptly forgotten on the way up) lay across the path. "I can leap over that" I thought as I spied it below me. I managed to time my stride to do just that and my foot had just started over when I saw another smaller tree trunk lying against the big tree trunk on the other side. My foot was aimed squarely at landing on that curved, maybe slippery, surface. "Another one!" was all I remember thinking. So, without another thought, my leg stretched, my body leaned in, and my foot planted itself firmly on the downhill side of both trunks. It's a moment etched in my memory. A moment when time stood still. And for that moment my wonderous non-self-judgmental self just did the thing. I got to the bottom of the hill joyful and exhilarated. Now and then I can find that self and it's a beautiful thing.
Absolutely. He is a very loving kid, and he definitely did it out of love. And he told me I could go to his university graduation (he has a good sense of humour).
I think I need to process that. Thank you for sharing. It literally never crossed my mind. Wise of your kid to know it. Kind and thoughtful and loving how he managed it. Painful though, to feel it. Very painful.
You and your partner look totally amazing together. Would that we lived in a world where your kid could be excited and proud to show you two off to his friends. Instead of being in survival mode.
…. Yup sitting here crying over my phone. Not sure if I can even name all the emotions this is bringing. Love, grief, pride, anger, frustration…
You are enough and never too much. You are a walking work of art, living out loud. I’m lucky to have you in my life. Love you
I’m already, today, after writing it all out…feeling so much better. Knowing that my kiddo was able to share his truth with me. That made it hurt less. I’m used to a world that find me overwhelming.
I am so very grateful that we get to share our troubles and our joy.
Your friendship is one of the most beautiful gifts I got for taking a chance on talking to a creative stranger!
In these big and small moments, you are continuing to create the groundwork/ecosystem for a lifetime relationship with your kiddo that’s nourishing and respectful and full of love. It’s so not easy but worth it, as you know. Thanks for being vulnerable and letting us see you. What a wonderful thing that your kiddo had a great year. But I’m also sorry you couldn’t be there in his space to celebrate. Your experience of being a UFO in a narrow-minded world hurts my heart. Xoxo.
I am so grateful for my kiddos, and for the people in the world who see me and love me the way I am.
Thank you for being such a wondrous human, and for offering me your kindness. Our podcast conversation was such a genuine pleasure and I treasure the fact that you felt safe trying something out of your comfort zone with me. 💖💖💖
My heart goes out to you, Wake! I admire how you are handling this difficult experience with so much love and grace! Sending you lots of love! 🥰 ❤️🩹💗💕🌈🌈🌈
I love you, dearest Wake. thank you for being you. and happy graduation to your son. hugs and love from a sunny Ottawa where we're about to have the ottawa small press book fair!
First, let me tell you that the big 4 on the wall is so appropriate for you and Curious and Kind. According to a game we've played, You Don't Know Jack, "4 is the number that cares." ♥️
As for the second thing, see all the previous comments, to which I would add "ditto."
There is a lot of grace present, in the decisions and conversations between you and your Year 8 graduate. There is much love and understanding. There is grief, too, that there is still so much insistence on a narrow path, in order to be... acceptable.
The outward rainbowing and pink hair that you describe for yourself, Wake, is your statement that you are divergent from the top of the bell curve, yes? Approach with acceptance, please.
I'm comparing that with my reasons for wearing bright colours, to reflect further: Often I wear bright colours as an expression of joy, and sometimes to cheer me up; in other words: joy is already here, or I else am am trying to self-administer it. - And to share it. Vibrancy is me; this is how I operate in the world. - And I did not develop the feeling of safety to express that consciously until I attended university and found some generous and warm-hearted people, me enjoying being popular for the first time in my life.
There is so much joy in being seen, known, and then embraced for being just exactly who you are. - And yet we know that there are many who are incapable of being generous with their embrace - or even with their tolerance.
I love that your community can reflect back to you a recognition of your brilliance. That speaks so much to having the confidence to live an authentic life, for members the community as well as for you.
As for being a teenager: well. It's a time of incredible change; of pruning neural networks, of exploration, of things that you took for granted being shaken up and tossed about. It's a precious thing to keep up a genuine connection with your teenager as they navigate it all. Kudos to you, Wake, and your precious teen, for making that connection a priority.
I'm sorry that the world is not always kind, but glad that you and your child are.
This also reminds me how I asked my parents to drop me off away from school when I was 12, which upset my mother, but my father didn't mind. Your kid is more empathic than I was around that age. Huge, deep hugs.
Here's a thing that happened to me when I was in my early 20s. First you have to know that I'm not athletic but my best friend is. He actually likes to climb up a mountain (well, a small one that's now called a hill because it's so old) turn around at the top and run, yes run, back down the trail. One lovely summer day we did climb King Mountain, as it's called. After a short break admiring the view my friend said "Let's run down." Uncharacteristically, I said "Ok" ...and we ran. Partway down a big tree trunk (that I'd climbed over and promptly forgotten on the way up) lay across the path. "I can leap over that" I thought as I spied it below me. I managed to time my stride to do just that and my foot had just started over when I saw another smaller tree trunk lying against the big tree trunk on the other side. My foot was aimed squarely at landing on that curved, maybe slippery, surface. "Another one!" was all I remember thinking. So, without another thought, my leg stretched, my body leaned in, and my foot planted itself firmly on the downhill side of both trunks. It's a moment etched in my memory. A moment when time stood still. And for that moment my wonderous non-self-judgmental self just did the thing. I got to the bottom of the hill joyful and exhilarated. Now and then I can find that self and it's a beautiful thing.
Oh! That is such a beautiful and viscerally told moment! I can imagine myself almost in your shoes.
💖💖💖
What this says to me is your son has a very deep love for you
Absolutely. He is a very loving kid, and he definitely did it out of love. And he told me I could go to his university graduation (he has a good sense of humour).
…….
I think I need to process that. Thank you for sharing. It literally never crossed my mind. Wise of your kid to know it. Kind and thoughtful and loving how he managed it. Painful though, to feel it. Very painful.
You and your partner look totally amazing together. Would that we lived in a world where your kid could be excited and proud to show you two off to his friends. Instead of being in survival mode.
…. Yup sitting here crying over my phone. Not sure if I can even name all the emotions this is bringing. Love, grief, pride, anger, frustration…
You are enough and never too much. You are a walking work of art, living out loud. I’m lucky to have you in my life. Love you
I’m so lucky to have you in my life.
I’m already, today, after writing it all out…feeling so much better. Knowing that my kiddo was able to share his truth with me. That made it hurt less. I’m used to a world that find me overwhelming.
I am so very grateful that we get to share our troubles and our joy.
Your friendship is one of the most beautiful gifts I got for taking a chance on talking to a creative stranger!
In these big and small moments, you are continuing to create the groundwork/ecosystem for a lifetime relationship with your kiddo that’s nourishing and respectful and full of love. It’s so not easy but worth it, as you know. Thanks for being vulnerable and letting us see you. What a wonderful thing that your kiddo had a great year. But I’m also sorry you couldn’t be there in his space to celebrate. Your experience of being a UFO in a narrow-minded world hurts my heart. Xoxo.
Awww! I am a UFO. I love that.
And I love that you can see how nuanced this is.
I am so grateful for my kiddos, and for the people in the world who see me and love me the way I am.
Thank you for being such a wondrous human, and for offering me your kindness. Our podcast conversation was such a genuine pleasure and I treasure the fact that you felt safe trying something out of your comfort zone with me. 💖💖💖
My heart goes out to you, Wake! I admire how you are handling this difficult experience with so much love and grace! Sending you lots of love! 🥰 ❤️🩹💗💕🌈🌈🌈
Thank you 💖💖💖It really helped to write it all out. To see in words how much my kiddo cares even amidst these difficult times.
I appreciate you 💖🫶🥰
Sending you love. For all of it and for who you are.
Thank you for being a human I can be unapologetically me around. I love you 💖
I love you, dearest Wake. thank you for being you. and happy graduation to your son. hugs and love from a sunny Ottawa where we're about to have the ottawa small press book fair!
Ooh! I love the small press book fair! I hope it’s an absolutely magical day!
I love you too, and am super grateful that you love me the way that I am.
i am super drunk. it was a good day
Dearest Wake.
First, let me tell you that the big 4 on the wall is so appropriate for you and Curious and Kind. According to a game we've played, You Don't Know Jack, "4 is the number that cares." ♥️
As for the second thing, see all the previous comments, to which I would add "ditto."
Hugz
Ah! Four was the floor we stayed on this past weekend. I’m excited that it bodes well!
Oh! - This sounds complex.
~
~
There is a lot of grace present, in the decisions and conversations between you and your Year 8 graduate. There is much love and understanding. There is grief, too, that there is still so much insistence on a narrow path, in order to be... acceptable.
The outward rainbowing and pink hair that you describe for yourself, Wake, is your statement that you are divergent from the top of the bell curve, yes? Approach with acceptance, please.
I'm comparing that with my reasons for wearing bright colours, to reflect further: Often I wear bright colours as an expression of joy, and sometimes to cheer me up; in other words: joy is already here, or I else am am trying to self-administer it. - And to share it. Vibrancy is me; this is how I operate in the world. - And I did not develop the feeling of safety to express that consciously until I attended university and found some generous and warm-hearted people, me enjoying being popular for the first time in my life.
There is so much joy in being seen, known, and then embraced for being just exactly who you are. - And yet we know that there are many who are incapable of being generous with their embrace - or even with their tolerance.
I love that your community can reflect back to you a recognition of your brilliance. That speaks so much to having the confidence to live an authentic life, for members the community as well as for you.
As for being a teenager: well. It's a time of incredible change; of pruning neural networks, of exploration, of things that you took for granted being shaken up and tossed about. It's a precious thing to keep up a genuine connection with your teenager as they navigate it all. Kudos to you, Wake, and your precious teen, for making that connection a priority.
I'm sorry that the world is not always kind, but glad that you and your child are.
This also reminds me how I asked my parents to drop me off away from school when I was 12, which upset my mother, but my father didn't mind. Your kid is more empathic than I was around that age. Huge, deep hugs.