It’s 1am

…and I’m downstairs eating carrots

For four days my nervous system has been in overdrive.

As of 9:07pm last night I have felt calm.

All it took was one text from my friend, who is caring for my pup.

At 7:30pm I was leaving her house having explained I’m all the medications and timings and post drinking a giant smoothie she’d made me.

(It was huge and it was a gentle act of kindness because my stress levels had kept from eating)

After our chat, the smoothie and ordering a gyro from the newest restaurant to try the cursed location in our town (I hope this gyro place survives, because not only is it delicious…the man who owns it is a kind-hearted human)…I went home to get Candy (my pup) and bring her to my friend’s place.

Candy adores my friend. She stays with her when I go away. It gives her some extra income (she’s retired and can artist) and pup snuggles. It gives Candy a place where she is genuinely loved and I don’t have to spend time worrying about her.

But this time, with all the medications, the precise timings, and Candy not eating for the past four days…I was worried it would be too much.

Not for my friend. She’s 75 and has raised a bunch of kids on her own, cared for a grandchild, and two grand-pugs. I’m so grateful for our chance encounter at the gallery a year and a half ago. Our friendship is an inter-generational awesomeness that I do not take for granted.

I told her that the vet said Candy would eat when she felt better and not to worry. I left to go home to bring my pup back.

She was lying listless…until I mentioned my friend’s name. She perked up. I tried again to feed her to no avail. But when I asked her to go in her carrier she complied immediately.

I dropped off Candy, and my pup immediately jumped into my friend’s lap and started snuggling.

But as I was leaving I realized I had forgotten my pup’s favourite water bowl. I was instructed to leave it on the bench outside her apartment.

It’s only a three minute drive away so within ten minutes I had delivered the glass bowl.

I got a text.

Guess what..we heard you put the bowl down while Candy was eating from my 🤚 !!!

Third little container got her interest, lighter appearing than other two, maybe chicken?

And that was that.

I feel even better about my choice to take my kiddo on his belated birthday adventure.

Of course now I can’t sleep, but don’t have to get up until 9am. I’m packed. I have everything I need ready to go.

This will be my kiddo’s first plane trip since the botched birthday two years ago.

Around this time of year.

I went back to see when all that happened, and it was nearly exactly two years ago.

Which I think is a good reminder that all things I’ve survived have been survivable.

My kiddo did not want to travel by plane again because of the above appendicitis adventure.

He no longer has an appendix. So the above should not re-occur.

Tomorrow he is taking a chance and trying to fly again. So he can go see his best friends.

Tonight I talked with one of the mothers of his best friend.

I don’t think I said hi. I think I said.

“Parenting is hard, isn’t it?”

And we fell into chatting the way we used to when we had young kids. Our boys have known each other since 2022. Her eldest and my eldest are like brothers. Her youngest and my youngest are best friends. We have spent a significant time caring for each other’s children, and it has been a gift.

Living away from my youngest’s best friends has been hard for him. There is something special about the people you meet when you’re at your most open hearted. The people who love you the way you are without thinking you’re too much or too weird. These boys all just…love each other. When I hear them chatting online it is almost always supportive and kind. They don’t tease each other as a love language. They genuinely listen and support each other, and call each in and out on things that might be dangerous or harmful.

My kiddo moved away three years ago and their friendship is still strong.

The three of us parents are hoping these three kids get some quality time together. And we are re-arranging our schedules and lives to do it. Because it is beyond important.

My youngest starts grade 10 next year. His best friends both start high school. They are getting to that age where the pressure to grow up and be less enthusiastic is weighing on them.

I hope this week will let them be silly and full of enthusiasm.

The world does this thing to kids where it demands you GROW UP and put away your childish things.

…but I think there are ways to keep your heart whole and still grow up. I think I’ve mostly managed it. I hope that my joy and vibrancy are the contagious kind. The kind that let my kids know that being your whole self will help you find the people who love you for who you are without having to fit in the boxes the world has provided.

So tomorrow I will go into an airport with my kiddo. Neither of us are fans of airports. But we are going to do this together. Because it is important. To give these moments and memories the attention they deserve.

Because

I sometimes find it hard to believe that I’m 47. That I’ve been married twice. That I’ve lived away from my parents for nearly 30 years. That I have a kid who is nearly an adult and another who will be there before I know it.

I’m grateful to have all sorts of friends both ahead of me, striding along side and following behind. It allows me a sweeping perspective.

In this moment. I feel good.

So I’m capturing it here. So I can find it later. When I need it.

Heart,

Wake

(I read this book on Saturday and it was very very good! And Nova Scotia written and illustrated!)

📚📚📚

Tiny book prompt #239

Checkerboard Villain

(I likely won’t get to it but feel free to do with it what you will…I’m so looking forward to autumn and time for tiny book writing again)