What would I do if I were a cat.

(A prompt gifted by Abigenesis Brown)

Prompt first today. Life writing after the

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What would I do if I were a cat.

If I were a cat

I’d find a soft spot with a ray of sunshine

And I’d lie in it

For hours

After that I’d stare out the window at birds

And remember I was wild once

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Oof. If this week has been hard and full of anxiety, overwhelm and situations beyond my control, then today has provided me with something completely different. I’ve itemized the hard things and talked about them with trusted folks and I’m feeling a whole lot more calm today. I would even hazard to say…enthusiastic.

I feel great. And on days like this I have to express my gratitude for feeling that way.

Today’s good feelings are brought to you by a burgeoning friendship that grew from gentle encounters at a coffee shop, and today we solidified us being friends with a walk around the local farmer’s market and an autistic info dump fuelled by coffee and the fact that we have nearly all the same…things. There are so many different flavours of autism/neurodivergence and it is rare for me to find someone where I can just chime in and go “yes! That!” And that!!”

It was magic and I left feeling full up. They said the same thing, that the experience didn’t drain them. That was so heartening.

Then I took some delicious market food home to my youngest. His favourite wrap and rice pudding. He and I shared a lunch together and it was so sweet.

Then I ran off to my book club which is populated by really cool women twenty to thirty years my senior. Today we were discussing one of my favourite books of all time, Come Thou Tortoise, by Jessica Grant. I realize now it has s one of my favourites because the main character is neurodivergent, and the way the whole book is written speaks right into my brain and my heart.

Thing is, it isn’t for everyone, and I’m ok with that. I came to the table to find a group of very confused readers and they were excited to talk about their confusion, and I was excited to talk about my perspective…and by the end they all felt very good about having read it, and it sparked so many conversations…and it really helped me understand why *I* loved it so much.

I left feeling so engaged and again…full.

So I asked my best friend back home if she’d be up for a chat…I’d been putting off our call because I’d been feeling such a mess and though I know she’d love me anyway I didn’t want to add any stress to her life, or spend our entire chat weeping.

And today we got to spend a good half hour sharing stories back and forth and I miss her so much but I know that part of me sits in a little room in her heart, and when she sees a cool bug, a a crow caws love at her, I’m with her. And the same here. She is in the ocean waves, and the stones on the beach, and the stars not sitting quite still in the night sky.

And we are both still alive so we can text, send voice messages, do phone calls and dump pictures of our day in each other’s cell phones. We write letters too. I miss her, but it’s a good missing. Because she exists and I get to know her.

And then I came home to my house and took my pup for a walk, and my youngest asked if we could go for ice cream and I had just enough from my Monday tips to pay the parking meter and get him a small cup of key lime pie ice cream.

And then we came home and I had the energy to do laundry and to have a waffle I made earlier this week. And to watch him thaw the rock he’d frozen in ice last night that we’d got at this beach at the end of the continent, where the road ended and could go no further.

And then I read an email from a wondrous human who ran a program I was part of for disabled/neurodivergent/deaf/chronically ill/mad screenwriters sending me a job posting that they thought I’d be a fit for. AND I AM. It’s exactly the kind of thing that I want to do, and it’s remote, disability friendly and is part of making the film world accessible!!

For real. A beautiful. Magic. Delightful.

Day.

I’m so happy to be able to share the whimsical beauty as well as the overwhelm and grief and hard parts of life.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for being.

Heart,

Wake